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Snail Loses Entire House, Lives in Regret

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A snail has reportedly lost his house in a horrific street accident. Mr Sully described the horrific event to shocked journalists at a recent press conference.

“I was just crossing the road because it was raining and that’s always what I like to do, when a human girl on her way to school decided to destroy the house on my back. I don’t know why she did it. She must have seen me there — I was carrying my entire house for God’s sake!”

Mr Sully’s insurance company has refused to honour any claims, stating that he “acted in a reckless manner that made the destruction of his house almost inevitable.”

My Sully says he is considering legal action, but with the loss of his home may not be able to cover the costs. He is starting a Kickstarter campaign in the hope of finding public support.

Jason Pipley

Powered by pure rage, Jay pulls no punches in delivering the cold hard facts.

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