A man’s penis has reportedly “just exploded”, according to the man’s wife. She says it’s possibly the first in a long stream of exploding penises, but when quizzed refused to elaborate.
The fiery cloud of the man’s exploding penis was seen for miles around, according to several witnesses. A Forrest Hill man said he thought the city was under attack from aliens.
“I saw the explosion from my porch and I immediately thought, this is it, you know, this is the invasion. When I found out it was just a penis exploding, I was a bit disappointed, if I’m going to be honest.”
The man survived with minor cuts and bruises and ceased function of his heart. He is lying still in Involoch Private Hospital. Doctors remain hopeful he’ll reanimate.