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Child Draws Kookaburra, “Revolutionizes Art World”

3 mins read
Jodie working on one of her masterpieces.
Jodie working on one of her masterpieces.

A six year old Narre Warren girl has drawn a remarkably accurate picture of a kookaburra, reports the girl’s mother, Martha.

“It’s amazing; Jodie’s only six years old and her rendition of a Kookaburra is so accurate and artistic that it may just revolutionize the Art World.

“To be drawing to this level at such a young age — who knows where it may lead?  As soon as I beheld the breathtaking picture, I set up a company and invested several hundred thousand dollars in anticipation of the world-changing career I foresaw Jodie having.

“I’ve literally dropped everything in my life to invest in hers. I moved her into a mansion befitting the artist she must now become, and of course I purchased a helicopter so Jodie can travel quickly and safely to any region of the world where she is needed to create great art.

“We have retained a highly-trained and decorated military pilot on staff to transport her at a moment’s notice.”

Anne Wilhelm, Jodie’s Au pair for just under a year, expressed doubts about the validity of Martha’s claims. She spoke to Shill Pill candidly about Jodie’s first piece.

“It’s pure gibberish. I couldn’t even tell it was a kookaburra, honestly. 

“I love Jodie to death, but… I not only see very little talent in the drawings she has produced, but I think she most likely has a learning disability.

“Art is subjective but this is objectively garbage. I’ve considered it deeply and I think Jodie’s mother might be insane. Her disturbed, delusional mind kinda makes my skin crawl.”

Jodie’s mother proudly showed the Shill Pill Team through the halls outside her bedroom, which were decorated with Jodie’s numerous awards and achievements. Among them, a green ribbon for baking damper and a hand-written certificate with a smiley stamp for her crochet work.

“As you can see, Jodie has numerous talents. She has always been a high achiever. It was just a matter of time before she revolutionized the art scene with a stroke of her crayon.”

Shill Pill was unable to obtain rights to publish the image, as Martha claimed it was “worth zillions”.

The Victorian college of the arts was not contacted for comment.

Harvey Poppington

Learned in all things, Harvey imparts wisdom and joy through the medium of the written word.

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